North Korea, Best Korea!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
