I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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