He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
