Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
