Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable

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(432): View more from Texas

His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways

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(845): View more from New York

she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.

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(707): View more from California

I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots

(1-707): View more from California

You did like 8

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(312): View more from Illinois

WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.

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