porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
