you didnt know i had herpes?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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