I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
