My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
