do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
