Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
