i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
