Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
