I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
