Umm I'm too high to move.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize