garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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