weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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