I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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