I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize