Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
