u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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