the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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