how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
