That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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