Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
