i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
