She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
