I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize