dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
