Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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