my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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