I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
