I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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