dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
