Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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