The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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