somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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