Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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