Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
