I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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