I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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