My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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