please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
