This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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