I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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