Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
