At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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