Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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