I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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