hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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