Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
