I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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