it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
