I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
