Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
