You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
