she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
