Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
