Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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