So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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